Being a relaxed mom in not something that comes easily to me. I think that I may have given the impression that it does, but truthfully I find it difficult. In fact being easy going with my children takes real effort and is often done reluctantly and with gritted teeth. My first response to their little childhood adventures is usually one of the following…
How much work is this going to be for me to clean up?
How much extra time is it going to take from my already busy
What is going to be damaged in the process?
Please don’t misunderstand me, it’s not that I think any of those questions are unreasonable questions to ask, and I resent when others imply that I ought to feel guilty about things I know in my heart are reasonable to think. So I will not do that.
That being said; my convenience cannot always be the rule of the day, and I have to remember that when they pull their stools up to the counter and want to “help” mommy make cookies. Or when he comes to me with safety scissor and tape in hand and wants to wrap his cousin’s Christmas present, or when they lift their faces up to me and say, “I do it by myself mommy!”.
I had one of those weak moments a few days ago when I let them go out in the orchard, foolishly believing that their rain boots would keep them reasonably clean and dry.
When I rounded the back fence, camera in hand, and caught my first glimpse of them I faltered. Instantly I went into damage control mode. Fortunately, the voice of reason prevailed and reminded me that dirty faces can be washed, play clothes are for playing, and the only permanent damage that would be done is for them to have a mother that doesn’t let them get wet and dirty in the orchard.
They need to get messy, to try, get frustrated, fail, succeed, find out, and yes; even get hurt… at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
First I must say; this fun morning was made possible by my mom who watched the boys all morning so I could play with the girls.
Aunt Karen invited Claudine and I to her house this morning for a yummy breakfast and a fun craft project. Karen visits a lot of really neat craft blogs and web sites, and she came across some pictures of wreaths made out of yarn. I know that sounds a little strange but they are really fun, funky wreaths.
So we brought all of our supplies (yarn, styrofoam wreaths, little odds and ends) and put together Christmas wreaths. I wish I would have brought my camera to show you pictures of the wreaths Aunt Karen had made for her house, they were really great. I was surprised at how easily it came together. I’m anxious to make another one!
Our house is looking cozy and festive. I love getting out the Christmas decorations and filling the house with bright colors and lights. It’s funny how in one short month I am equally ready to put everything away and have a clutter free, organized house again (at least for a while).
The boys and I have been making green and red paper chains, hanging paper snowflakes in the windows, and building snowmen out of construction paper. Isn’t it funny how you set out to do something fun with your children, and it ends up being a real test of your patience. Craft projects are a little chaotic at this stage in our life and I have to stop and remind myself that the experience is as important as the end result!
We ventured out this weekend and picked out our Christmas tree. We passed lots of really big, expensive trees, but they were completely thrilled with the 4 foot tree we came home with. Going through the ornament box seemed to be the most exciting part of the evening.
Hot chocolate and mini marsh mellows were a new experience for them. Needless to say they’re now big fans.
Daddy let them have cookies with their hot chocolate. This little guy quickly figured out how to dunk his cookies. Some things you just don’t need to teach a child!
Pregnancy has left my brain a bit more addled than usual, so it is only fitting that my post reflect my state of mind.
I have decided that the phase “she is so pregnant she looks like she could pop”, is a very crass and disturbing thing to say. First: comparing a pregnant woman to a large inflated balloon is insulting. Second: to imply that her tummy is going to spontaneously combust is a ridiculous and terrifying image to plant in a somewhat emotionally unstable mind.
“Emotionally unstable mind” brings me to my next thought. It is not a good idea to comment on a pregnant woman’s figure. You may think (and rightly so) that what you are saying is kind and reasonable, but her mind is not working right. It is temporarily damaged by the amount of hormones that are coursing through her body.
What was said: “Wow, you’re really popping out ! Are you having twins?”
What she heard: “Wow, you’ve gotten really huge!”
What was said: “You must be having a girl. You’re carrying your baby out to the side.”
What she heard: “You must be having a girl. You’re as wide as a battle ship.”
What was said: “You must be having a boy, you’re carrying him way out front!”
What she heard: “You must be having a boy, you look like you swallowed a beach ball!”
What was said: “Honey you look so uncomfortable, you must be so ready to have that baby.”
What she heard: “Not only are you are you really fat, but you look bad too.”
My advice when speaking to a pregnant woman… just lie. No matter what she really looks like just tell her she looks lovely. Someday (when she’s once again capable of rational thinking) she will look at pictures of herself and realize that you lied to her, and she will love you all the more for it. If you can’t bring yourself to lie, that’s o.k; you don’t have to say anything at all.
My last piece of random advice (which is mostly directed at men): never try to guess a woman’s due date, you will only make a fool of yourself and possibly make a grown woman cry.