My oldest son has always been busy. He keeps us on our toes. Lately “busy” has turned into defiant, so we’ve had to really step up our levels of discipline. As I set up the boundaries of the household rules; I watch him methodically approach the limit and then with a sudden burst of energy; he blows right past them. There are days when I feel like all I have done is fight with him and punish him. Not only is it exhausting but I spend the day plagued with doubt and guilt.
In the evenings he has started kicking his legs while we try to change his diaper and put his p.j.s on. I have been kicked in the jaw, stomach, and chest over the last few weeks. Last night as he suddenly kicked his legs while I was putting on his p.j bottoms he just barely missed kicking me in the face. His dad said put him to bed right now without his bedtime story.
I thought it was hard to discipline him when he was throwing a fit, but I found out it’s harder to follow through with a punishment when he is truly heartbroken. He loves his bedtime story and when he realized he was not going to get one his eyes filled with tears. “Story Mommy?” he pleaded with me. He did not kick or fight he simply gathered his blanket and followed me to his room all the while quietly crying.
As I put him to bed and he looked at me with those tear filled eyes it took every ounce of strength I had to walk out of the room. I wanted to scoop him up and say, “It’s okay, Mommy will read to you.” As I gave Baby Boy his bottle I could hear him in his bed whimpering and saying, “No story… please read a story.”
I’m learning that parenting is tough in ways I had not anticipated.