Monday January 9, 2012

Before you read this post it is important for you to understand where I am coming from, what is in my heart.  The following thoughts and questions are the result of my own personal reflections.  Me looking into my life, and my thoughts, and seeing things I don’t like.  Areas that need changing, attitudes that are destructive, focuses that are not healthy or helpful.  Please bear that in mind as you read on.

I have been listening a lot lately.  Asking myself questions.  Trying to get to the bottom of this check I feel in my spirit.  

I look at the woman who gets up an hour early every weekday morning and goes to the gym.  I envy her body, I admire her discipline and her rock firm abs.  But to the woman who gets up early every morning to clip coupons, in an effort to save money and be a good steward of what God has given her, I laugh and roll my eyes.  Why?  Why do I do that?

I speak admirably of the woman with the enviable wardrobe, full of all the styles and brands that I know so well.  While privately I ridicule the woman who treats her husband like a king. The one who, after so many years of marriage still lights up when she sees him, and never passes up an opportunity to praise him.  I shake my head and say, “Oh she’ll grow out of that soon enough” or, “Sheesh you’d think they were newlyweds.”  When truth be told, it’s not something she should ever “grow out of”, and making sarcastic comments about one’s husband is not a sign of maturity (again, this is me pointing a finger in my own chest). 

I sometimes wonder, as women, are we really bringing out the best in each other?  Are we (am I) admiring things that are worthy of my admiration?  What is the message we are sending each other?  When I see a woman who is striving for excellence am I encouraging her, or am I a stumbling block to her?  Do I let my own insecurities get in the way?  I fear that all too often I am a stumbling block.  I am realizing that my own thoughts and attitudes affect more than just myself.  I am learning that we are connected to each other in ways we don’t always acknowledge. 

I want to change.  I want to be a help to my sisters in the Lord, not a hindrance.  I want to cheer for you! Not hold you at a level that makes me feel comfortable and safe.  I have a long way to go, but I’m ready to start.  

24 thoughts on “Monday January 9, 2012

  1. wj3km

    Keeping our eyes on Christ will help us to see others the way He does, love others the way He does and will help us to treat others the way we would want to be treated… and not just to flatter them, but truly build them up, encourage and bless them.

  2. ehrinn_l

    i know what you mean… i catch myself mid action doing something ugly… and wish i could take that half back that’s already done.

    i went through a phase in the summer where i felt like i was a “better person”… i felt inwardly more happy, treated people how i meant to (in a nice way, lol.), etc.

    hard stuff happened again, and… now i am back in that wanting more and still being ugly unintentionally.

    i want to be more purposeful. and speak about people well… even in private. ;)

    here’s to 2012 making us people who are more like…. who we aspire to be.

  3. YouToMe

    It takes a lot of courage to humble yourself and admit weakness in this way. I admire you for opening up. You and your family will be blessed and rewarded for it. Hugs

  4. pettybunch

    I hear you, too, and I have been praying that I will be willing to let the Lord’s light of conviction move me to change.  I have to say, though, that you are always an encouragement to me.  I see in you someone I used to be – someone who loves to use the gifts and skills the Lord gave you; someone who reminds me that I used to do the same thing, but have gotten lazy in my older age; and I think you are an honor to your husband and children.  Blessings, my new friend!

  5. Richgem

    Come ‘ere and let me give you a hug! Have you been sneaking around in my head? Here’s my take:   Years ago, a bitter, married gal at my place of employment had a difficult time congratulating me on my engagement. My fiance would bring me a red rose to my work once every week, on his way to his work. (for the entire 11 months we were engaged. And then even after we were married). This gal told me, “Just wait. The flowers will stop.” She made me angry. I never told my fiance that. He, Hubby, still brings me flowers. Not every week, but several times a year, sometimes for no reason. Sweet, huh? But for me, it’s not enough. It’s not a compliment, which is what I need more than flowers. When I read about or hear of gals whose husbands compliment them, I’m the one rolling my eyes. Like yeah, right, I wonder if he means it. Unfortunately, I go through judgemental phases, I do the eye rolling, the arms folded on the chest like a spoiled brat girl thinking “life stinks”. Then, I hear a song or a great message or read a great blog post or, oo-oo-oo, better yet, I read my Bible and get all turned around in the right direction. Don’t be working yourself into a big lather about what you’re doing/thinking wrong. It’s good that you know it and see it and wonder about it, but all you need to do is get over it. And carry on and be blessed because YOU are such a blessing to me and many others. Jesus loves your heart and you were forgiven eons ago.

  6. redladybug18

    thanks for being open and honest and for sharing your heart.  It’s definitely not easy but what you wrote is something I needed to hear.  Once you let those bad attitudes in how easy is to let it live in our
    lives and how hard to send it packing and never let it visit! I need to change.  With God’s help we both will because we can do all things through Christ! 

  7. Elizabethmarie_1

    Yes, yes….we women can be discouraging to one another. I was just talking to my friend yesterday about how we need to be iron sharpening iron! God tells us in Proverbs to do so, yet so many time we are more like iron pounding iron into the ground! 
    I love this post April….thank you for your open heart! =)

  8. bethro78

    Oh boy. Me too! Meeee tooo.

    When will I be able to put into practice the art of accepting people for who they are, and loving them for it, instead of being judgmental and feeling let down because they are not what I expect?

    Great post.

  9. appalolly

    Great thoughts.  And I wish you would do more of these types of posts more often too!  Not that I don’t like your other ones…I just like the more personal ones as well!  I agree with what a lot of others wrote…I think we all struggle with this sort of thing but it takes a lot of guts to admit it!

  10. ABAHM

    I think some of the surface admiration comes easier, because the other woman taking care of her family or admiring her husband through the years is so intimate.  I know I have trouble being so open before people sometimes.  So good to think about it in this way and realize we need to ‘encourage one another and build each other up.”  I try that in little ways, but how much more important to do so in ways that count, and to ask God to give us that heart!

  11. smilesbymiles

    This reminds me so much of what a friend of mine shared recently … it’s much easier to sympathize with a woman who is down than to celebrate with a woman who is experiencing success.  Great post!

  12. WildWomanOfTheWest

    Funny, how we weigh in our hearts what is worthy and what is not.  It’s always so unique and personal what God places in our hearts to do, where/how we spend our time.  I still adore my husband, but since kicking processed sugar out of my diet, I am finding him to be less adorable.  hahaha~

    It takes a soft spirit to expose the process of the heart.

    I really like your new header, so warm, so soft. 

  13. lin789

    this is so good. so good.

    and i think i know why i do this EXACT thing way too often. i think i know. 
    but i try to pretend i don’t.
    love these spin-offs of your creative mind. :)


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