Friday January 4, 2008

It is a sad, sad day at our house.  We (when I say “we” I mean, I) cut of the ends of his pacifiers off and threw them in the garbage.  Horror and disbelief flashed across his face as he ran screaming into his dad’s arms.   For several minutes he would have nothing to do with me, he just clung to his dad and wept.   He is learning that “You’re a big boy” is code for, “you’re not going to like this”.

In the 7 years I taught preschool, I saw a lot of different parenting styles.  The one that frustrated me the most were weak parents.  More often than not it was the mother who fell into this pattern.  They would come into my classroom wringing their hands, telling me how fed up they were, and that they  didn’t know what to do.  Most of the time, they knew exactly what they needed to do;  they just didn’t have the strength to do it.  I never had much sympathy for them… until now.

Sometimes it’s not easy to do what’s best for your child.  It hasn’t been easy for me to enforce rules, to break bad habits,  or to give them a needed push in the right direction.  That doesn’t mean I don’t do what is needed, but I realize now how tempting it would be to just give in.  I understand, that most parents don’t set out to ruin or spoil their child.  It happens one small decision at a time.  It’s such a delicate balance between being consistent and firm, but also realizing that they are still little and sometimes what they really need is a little extra love and attention.  I thought it would be easier to discern the two.

I guess we are both feeling some growing pains!

4 thoughts on “Friday January 4, 2008

  1. celebration_of_life

    Ahh! Hope he gets over it quickly…having kids continually makes me see that I have to put my own interests and even the desire for short term peace aside for their good…and it is nice to not have to keep track of to many pacifiers, etc…You are doing a great job! Congrats auntie!

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  2. PolkaDotAlot

    “Having children changes you”…you hear it over and over and you never know the extent of that meaning until you wake up one day and realize alot of things are not as they seemed before you had your little ones.  It is good to finally walk down the road of parenthood and have compassion on those who have went before us and quite possibly our own parents. :)   So often moments like these bring our relationship with our Heavenly Father into perspective!  BTW-Good post-I think we have all been there in one parenting situation or another!

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  3. manuelmusings

    When my boys were 2 they accidentally left their “binkies” at a friend’s house.  What a great opportunity but we had to endure a week of crying at bedtime.  It’s hard to close your ears to such sorrow and not give in.  You’ll have many more experiences of doing what is best for your children and not what makes them the happiest.  I agree with PolkaDotAlot, our experiences as parents makes us more forgiving of our own parents and we realize that they were as clueless as we are sometimes.

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